In continuation of the previous rant that I was aimlessly meandering up to, I've been thinking of just leaving this whole brain tumor mess as it stands for now. I'll probably head back to Philly to finish out my lease through the next few months and then figure things out from there. I may head back toward the Atlanta area or I may just move outside the city for a year until I feel like things are truly wrapped up. I don't know, though. I can't seem to commit to anything right now, and I certainly can't seem to make up my mind about anything; that would require knowing what I want in the future, and I cannot seem to see anything clearly on other side of this foggy mess right now.
It would seem like my ideas for my life and future plans have to either take a backseat vacation or take an interminable interlude in a back-alley dumpster. I can't necessarily plan on living a long life like I did before. Now I know there are those of you out there saying, "Oh for shame, that's such a depressing thought." Let me explain, though. What I actually mean is that I can't put things off until the ever indistinct 'one day' of my future--there may simply be no time for that anymore. Things that I've always wanted to do--such as living in a simple cabin far removed from the dregs of society and taking a road-trip out west--need to be actualized in my present situation. I have to start taking action now if I'm ever going to get to see and do some of the things that I've been putting off since I was a young lad.
Saturday, May 16
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