I have brain cancer and all I get is this stupid case of Swine Flu

So let me start at the beginning. Houston has a problem that us non-Houstonians are unfamiliar with. They keep things ridiculously cold. It'll be a hot, humid summer day and everyone's walking around in pants and jackets like it's crisp fall weather (I must say that, as Atlantans, we felt like Yanks for not being familiar with this). The problem with this situation is that upon entering a building it was absolutely freezing inside. Not expecting this as a city-wide behavior (at first, we thought it was just a few of the wealthier thermostat happy buildings), we didn't learn to expect it until shortly before we left.

So the reason why I'm writing about all of this is to inform you about the extensive temperature interior/exterior variation differentials occurring among Houstonians in their dwellings. Kidding, that sounds really boring. Its that I don't think it's healthy to have so much extreme hot/extreme cold change per day. I think this may be where the trouble started. Sweating in the sun, then freezing for a few hours in an office aren't the most appropriate ways to maintain a healthy immune system.

After getting on all my medication, the last one had the most side effects. Rash--like the beautiful one I'm exhibiting above--was basically guaranteed. So after taking all the medication for a few days, the rash began to appear around my shoulders. They said it was a good thing that I was getting the rash, and I should just sit back and enjoy the ride. So I took that as a good sign and within a few days, we were heading back to Atlanta.

I noticed the sores in my mouth shortly after the rash showed up. But they got worse and worse, and now they're so bad that I can't speak, eat or swallow anything without enduring tidal waves of pain. Now I just answer yes and no questions to everyone as much as possible. But I've gotten ahead of myself here. So yesterday my Dad and I discovered that Oral Thrush is fairly common in people in my situation. Then we discovered that the sores were white and of course, so were mine. So we needed to go to the doc-in-the-box down the street for a quick medication prescription that I desperately needed. The doc said that the sores in my mouth didn't look exactly like the ones that he was accustomed to seeing. So they jammed an elongated q-tip up my nose then scraped some of my sores with a separate one to get test results. When they came back, it turned out that I had Swine Flu compounded by a horrible Oral Thrush outbreak. I got to leave that building with a nice little facial mask on.

Positive Note: I won't have to deal with any mouth sore crap with the future use of this medication, which is great because I'm getting really tired of it by now.