I've finished one-quarter of this (ridiculous) race

Phew! I'm glad that's over.

I just finished month 3 of the looonnggg 12 round chemo program that I'm on. This round was fairly tough too. No different in terms of quantity of the drug, but I don't actually remember much from the last week (I struck an unlucky note and won a test and a speech that I had to be studying for the whole time). For some reason, this time felt significantly more trying than the last time. Maybe it's because I knew what was coming, and, like the train traveling down the tracks to my end--I could see it coming.

That being said I feel better now; not totally back to normal, but certainly better than I was feeling. For a little while, I didn't feel any desire to talk to anyone, I didn't want to leave...ever, or do anything. I was sick and exhausted. Not so tired that I wanted to sleep all day. No...I couldn't sleep at all actually. I'd just lay there and hurt all over. 

I'm complaining because it's terrible compared to normal life, but in the world of Chemotherapy, it's nothing. I can do it in my own house and feel like crap on my own terms. Everyone else with cancer has to go somewhere to have these toxins pumped through their veins...it's terrible. They get poisons pumped into their bodies and then they have to feel themselves start feeling terrible in public. Fortunately for me, I don't have to do this, but I just felt like expressing all the crap that I go through when I have these episodes. 

Essentially, I think this is the way my life's going to work for the rest of my chemo program. At the beginning of every month, I'll fall off the planet for a week. Then I'll reappear as if nothing ever happened. Strange, isn't it?