My Hands Felt Like Two Balloons

If you can guess the classic track that I hand-culled this title from, then I'll personally guarantee you a high five--feet flying and all. I think that's a pretty sweet deal.

OK so I decided that this post would pertain entirely to all the little oddities that the hulking Goliath has produced in my head. They're really hard to describe for the most part, but I want to try to explain them to my loyal audience as much as possible. Starting with some hyper-sensitivity that I've been dealing with my whole life, I'd like to delve into what I experience (in a hushed voice)--usually at night when I'm trying to sleep. I've never really had a reason to try to explain any of this stuff to anyone, but now I do.

I've tried to reproduce the text that was so horribly ripped from my grasp this weekend. I don't know what happened, but it was wrested from me alright. Tsk tsk. Alright so the first thing that I want to explore is this whole balloon hands thing. It's been going on for years, and I mean years, but it seems to be happening at an increasing rate since I've had this Goliath lurking around my brain. It's weird though, it feels like my hands--and only my hands--get this weird hyper-sensitivity going on. Simply put: they feel huge! But I know they're not huge, they just feel as if they were that way. It's so bizarre--like they're some kind of uncanny semblance of a hand that doesn't really resemble a hand but is still attached to my wrists. Uhhh what? I don't really know what else to say about it other than: weird.


Ok so the next thing is something that my friend Alison, who came down to see me last Saturday (she's such a super sweetee!) So she told me that there's more hyper-sensitivity going on in my little mind than meets the eye, er, Goliath. She called it Exploding Head Syndrome. We can just stop there. I mean, what a fantastic name. I wouldn't even need to know what it was to fully appreciate it. Anyway, it's a condition that is essentially like my balloon hands condition except it's in my ears. Anyway, the Exploding Head Condition--I love saying that--feels like or gives the quality of really loud noises to what are actually really quiet noises. So if you have, say a noise from the heater in my hotel room that is essentially really quiet, it will actually have the same quality as a noise that is really, really loud. It'll sound like the noise is screaming in my face, when it was really just a little peep in the background. It's really bizarre...

By the way, it's not like I'm freaking out with all of this stuff. It happens very rarely, but now it happens just enough more that I think it might have something to do with ol' Goliath. There's a few other things that I want to divulge to my loyal audience, too. I've found that there were a couple times over the last few years that I would find myself wondering--this is gonna sound weird by the way--when I am. There was this time at a school dinner, and the thought occured to me, "When am I?" It stuck with me for a few minutes, then I realized, "Oh, I'm so silly, I'm now." Honestly, though, that's how it happened. I went through this whole phase of history, seeing my neices and nephews in the future, and then it hit me, I'm now. Again really bizarre.

The next thing that I found to be really weird is one time I was biking up through Fishtown (a newly hip part of Philly) all on my lonesome, and I found that it was really hard for me to figure out how to get back to South Philly. Now it wasn't like I was in a bizarre part of Fishtown; I was right on York! So what occured to me was that my brain was having another one of those little episodes where it says, "Dude, I don't know. What do you want me to do about it?" Then I went back to normal and just felt like my usual self again. It was just so strange. You never know how your brain is going to trip up when you're on your bike amidst a warm dusty Philly evening, do you?